Fitting In

China is most likely a very different place than where you’re from. Customs, traditions, jokes and all other types of social interactions might be very different that what you’re used to. Nothing can really prepare you fully for experiencing China first-hand but here are some tips to help you know what to expect. Also keep in mind that your experience will differ from what’s written here: these are guidelines, not rules.


Get ready for people to look at you

Most foreign students that come to China look different from Chinese people, especially ones from African and European backgrounds. Until fairly recently foreigners were not common in China and you will attract a lot of attention just for acting normally.

Get ready for people to stare, point and laugh at you for no particular reason. This does not mean people are making fun of you or dislike you in any way, nor does it mean people suspect you of having done something wrong. People are simply not used to foreigners and can be extremely surprised and curious. Don’t be offended and try to be friendly; no one means you any harm.

This phenomenon is not common in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. It’s more likely to occur in smaller cities and towns where foreigners are rare.


Learn how Chinese people interact with each other

Every culture has certain rules and different ways of social interaction. If you take some effort to learn how Chinese people interact with one another you’ll be making a bit step towards fitting in and gaining respect.

Age distinctions are important in China. Old people are held in high regard and given a lot of respect in public. Address the elderly in a respectful way and help them when necessary. When riding a crowded bus or a subway and an elderly person boards, always let them take your seat. It’s what any Chinese person would do.

Relationships between men and women can be different than some other countries. In Western countries, it’s perfectly normal to hug a friend of the opposite sex, but physical contact between friends of the opposite sex is uncommon in China. This is quickly changing in some places but be sure to pay attention to the behaviour of people around to see what is acceptable.

Modesty is a big virtue in Chinese culture. If someone praises or compliments you (and they will), your instinct may be to say “thank you.” A better response would be to deny what that person said and even praise them (but only if what you say is true). This will show people your modesty and you’re status in their eyes may go up.


Spending Money and Friends

Most Chinese college students are not wealthy compared to college students many other countries. While almost all students receive money from their family while in school, many of them are uncomfortable with spending too much on expensive entertainment, since they don’t want to burden their family. Be aware of this when you go out with college-aged Chinese friends to restaurants, bars and other entertainment.


Let people help you

Chinese people see you as a guest in their country and many people will go out of their way to help you. This especially true if you’ve just arrived or your Chinese still isn’t very advanced. Let them help you! This is a great opportunity for you do make a friend and possibly learn something. When people genuinely want to help you, you can make them incredibly happy by letting them.

However, be sure to know when to say no. Pay careful attention to see if someone sincerely wants to help you or is just being polite. A good strategy is to decline their offer at first, then accept if they insist on helping.

Also be aware that there are a few people that want to trick foreigners and take advantage of their ignorance. Make sure that a person isn’t trying to cheat you instead of help you. This is rare but can be a frustrating experience.


Get a Chinese cell phone

Unless your cell phone from back home can text in Chinese characters, it’s extremely useful to buy one in China (or rent one for cheap from Chiwest). This is not only good for your language skills but also allows you to communicate with Chinese friends that might have poor English skills. Text messaging is a very common form of communication in China. If you can’t text in Chinese, you’re cutting yourself off from people in a big way.


Make friends with Chinese people

Making friends with Chinese people is one of the most satisfying aspects of studying in China. Friendships you make while abroad can be extremely valuable and you should active pursue friendships with people around you. You won’t be able to make friends (or even like) everyone you meet, but if you are open to meeting new people, you’ll have more friends than you thought possible.

This doesn’t mean it’s not good to make friends with other international students. This can be a valuable part of studying in China as well. Just remember not to spend all your time around other foreigners.